Gaslighting in Classrooms

By Halimah Omobolaji
^{∙ Girls Senior High School, Agege, Lagos ∙}

Gaslighting is a form of psychological, sociological and emotional abuse or manipulation whereby the abuser attempts to instill self-doubt and confusion in their victim’s mind. It is a manipulative device used to question one’s perspective of reality. The Gaslighter (abuser) aims to impose their thought, opinion or perspective on others.

Gaslighting is an uncommon topic which is barely debated. The few that know about it probably think it takes place only among married couples. Gaslighting could be in any form and can come from anyone. It can happen between parent and child, teacher and student, employer and employee to mention a few. Also, it can be vice-versa. Gaslighting can be in form of reality questioning, coercion, scapegoating, trivializing and outright lying. Gaslighters possess some characteristics like shifting blame, deflection, denial, using compassionate words and claiming superiority.

Gaslighting in classrooms is intertwined with teacher-student relationship. In this aspect, the teacher imposes his opinion on his students, which causes distortion and makes students to be unsure of themselves. Some teachers are self-opinionated, they refuse to accept other’s opinion even when they are wrong. This, they think is a way of showing superiority over their students. The teacher punishes or shuns the student who tries to question his opinion. This, in turn, leads to intimidation or loss of confidence on the part of the student. Do you think such student will be willing to answer a question in that class again? Of course not, the student will rather withdraw from all class activities.

Although, these teachers (abusers) attend classes but learning do not take place because at the end of every class, they succeed in confusing the students. Learning is a psychological process. It deals with the memory, and whatever the teacher say is what the students accept on the account that teachers are always right. Then, later in the future when student realized they have been misled it become very hard to retrace their step, they felt deceived and intellectually played on. Student get more confuse when they don’t know the real-life application of what they are taught. They get reply like ‘you don’t need to know it, it won’t be in your examination, do research if you badly want to know it’, just because the teacher does not have an answer to the question.

Some teacher kill motivation which is one of the worst things you can do to a child. The enthusiasm to learn is not in student nowadays mostly because some teachers refuse to allow student express themselves but rather want them to deliver what they are taught word for word especially in an examination. Then student become worried about their grade which is likely to lead to trauma. Student become emotionally downcast too and they felt they can never get anything right. Honestly, it seems these teacher does not see their students as real-life thinking people. They forget students have feelings and valid opinions and that they can be right too. They make their victim do things even at the detriment of their health.

However, these people claim to love their victim. Yes, they claim to love them, but to me it is a way of justifying their action. There is no reason to be Gaslight. After beating or punishing their victim they use words like ‘it is your fault, you make me angry, you confused me, I did this because you are my favorite or best student ‘. Also, some of the teacher (abuser) Gaslight unconsciously, for some people it is not an intentional act. They just want their opinion to dominate others own and they have the mindset that their students are inferior to them. Some of these teachers may even do so to their colleagues too just because they felt they are always right.

Also, these teacher does not have what it takes to become a teacher. Teachers are loco parentis, right? Then why should a parent make her child feel inferior? Teaching should be a passion. School is where some students find Solace. It is their happiest place on earth. Why then should they be derived of happiness. I can say it boldly that as a result of gaslighting some students become suddenly timid, rebellious, outlaw. A teacher should have a listening and communication skill, so teacher should be ready and willing to have a hearty conservation with student instead of imposing or showing superiority over them, because you are an authoritative figure and the student is just a helpless victim.

To me, teachers that gaslight are not well trained or probably did not undergo training at all. While some are suffering from traumatization because they were once victim themselves, and they deem it fit to make another person taste what they taste because they are still dwelling in the past and if they don’t let-go they will keep spreading it especially among their students. These teachers (abuser) should see a therapist or psychologist so as to be heal or better still stop being a teacher.

In summary, Gaslighting is a very rampant thing in society that we don’t pay attention to and it is greatly affecting us. Gaslighting targets one’s psychological health and makes socializing brutal. It is also disheartening that people don’t take it seriously when students try to express themselves.